Spring

28 March, 10


I’m stupid. My mom wanted me to make sausage this morning. I burned it, and now, even though she could easily make it herself, and she knows I‘m in the middle of something, she’s making me do it again. She knows I won’t even eat it. I think she thinks I’m vying for control. Really, I don’t care. I don’t know why I’m crying about this, but I am.


I feel stupid. I feel like cutting myself up into little pieces. I have so much work to do today and I just feel so dumb for letting it all pile up. I’m stupid. I should just give up now. I should just go run into traffic or jump off a roof or drown myself. What is wrong with me?

I’ve been working toward getting my grades up, and so far it’s been working out. But for some reason I still feel like I’m letting everyone down. My grades go up and I just feel more depressed and worthless. I’m ugly and stupid and I should just go die because I don’t deserve to be here at all. No one needs me here and I just waste time and screw up. I spend all my time sleeping and making up excuses.

I feel so pathetic for whining about myself all the time. I hate this.